(Update to original story: Oh well, back to the drawing board. Next time I’ll just cook and eat these plain as a meal apart with ginger and other pro-digestive seasonings. Liver is a wholesome food, but my system wasn’t accustomed to the novelty, and didn’t really know what to make of it. Besides, I couldn’t serve this to Angelina even at the end of a ten-foot pole; she’s way too fast for me to catch. -m)

Angelina will not want to be surprised by a photograph of this culinary adventure.

Out of consideration for her sensibilities, here instead (with full permission) is a picture of SuperPup, crawling into my lap to show me her new chew snack. SuperPup was fine with having the picture appear on the blog, stipulating only that every penny of royalties goes to her.

Last night and today it rained hard with local flooding. To shop for food I pulled on my tarp slicker and fluorescent vest, and was just hauling on my OSHA-compliant high rubber boots (a $2.00 bonanza at the state surplus sale). Then the phone rang. It was Angelina, looking out her window and thinking “Rain = Must drive Mary to store.” That is how first responders think. They just spring into action. It’s amazing. They are not one of us. Would I like a ride? Yes, Ma’am!

Soon she and I set out, with SuperPup and Bingo in the back seat. They happily licked the side of my head but whimpered in heartbreaking woe when we left them in the car. It is touching to see that when Angelina issues a training command, the dogs may have their sassy moments, as in “Ha! Are you going to make me? You and how many papal Swiss Guards?” But they are existentially distraught when Angelina is out of their sight for even a moment. She is the sun of their entire solar system. They need their alpha figure and pack configuration in order to feel safe and comfortable.

First we stopped at Fruit & Folks, where I loaded up on the Saturday bargain bin produce specials. Then we headed over to a whole new destination: the uptown butcher shop, so I could branch out and explore food products derived from (as my plant-based peeps will say) animals that had a mother and a face.

That first trip may be my last. Beef, $69.99 a pound? $40 for salmon? Where’s the decimal point? Holy smoke. Clearly, all those times that colleague Gunnar served salmon to his guests from the office, I should have been nicer to the guy.

Me: You know, at the Dollar Store there are jumbo cans of mackerel with only mildly scuffed labels. Oh wait — look at this. (Holds up clear plastic container of organ meat and blood.) $3.82 a pound. I’ve found my price range!

Angelina: (Discreetly averts eyes with random throttly noise, and walks away.) Enjoy! I’ll be in Housewares.

Out in the car, I gripped the chicken livers to keep them tightly lidded and level all the way home. (On the next offal outing, I’ll bring a lidded tupperware canister to hold the meat and avoid any chance of spillage on the upholstery.)

SuperPup and Bingo were luminous with joy to see that Angelina had decided to return instead of farming them out to a new forever home. Their great mood might have been even better if they’d had a few licks of my purchase too.

Chicken Liver Hash

Blended in Cuisinart: Celery leaves, mushrooms, zucchini, apple. (Chives or scallions would have been nice too.)

Seasonings, added to the Cuisinart hash: Parsley, dill, paprika, ginger, Bragg’s aminos. (Honey mustard and rubbed sage and black pepper could be good too.)

Last night I boiled down bones and bone broth in my heavy stew pot. Instead of scrubbing out the pot, I put the whole pot in the fridge for the night to reuse the flavorful residue at the bottom. In the pot I sauteed some minced garlic in a bit of bone broth and a dash of apple cider vinegar. I stirred in the vegetable/seasoning blend. Then I poured the livers and handy liver blood directly from container into pot without getting raw meat near cutting surfaces or utensils. Since I don’t put meat in my Cuisinart, I chopped and mashed the livers right in the pot after they were well cooked through.

Half the liver went in the freezer. The other half was mixed with one whole cauliflower, steamed and mashed. The idea was to make the dish about 90% cooked vegetables.

This tasted good. The recipe was a keeper, worth making again.