It would have been really thoughtful and considerate of me to tell the Wings that for cataract surgery #2, I was going to go ask Angelina to take me to the hospital instead.
And why? Because for cataract surgery #1, it was so wonderful to have their perfect help — doing without the family car for two mornings, and rearranging their schedule. Thanks to Captain’s winter-weather navigation and motoring skills, the surgery and the followup appointment next day were a breeze.
Me being me, my first conclusion was “That was great! Therefore, I would never venture to ask this wonderful family to help me with surgery #2. Instead I will distribute this huge imposition elsewhere so that no one set of neighbors needs to be burdened twice.”
Ya whatever. But because I didn’t dream of asking the Wings to go again, I didn’t dream that they would think they were going to be asked again. Therefore I did not talk to them of my decision. Result: they waited patiently in readiness, having noticed that cataracts come in pairs. Finally they found out by chance (with a glance at this blog) that I’d moved on and hit up someone else without ever telling them, or explaining why.
Captain called me this week with a message from Mrs. Wing, asking me to drop by the house on my way home. The call was a pleasant surprise. “It’s so nice to hear from you!” I told him. “After imposing on you for that surgery, I was afraid to contact any of you for fear you would be upset by how much work that was.”
Tactful moment of silence on the phone. “We were waiting for instructions,” he replied. “Then we read that Angelina took you to the hospital instead.”
Oh dear goodness. I am such a dork.
For some reason, they are still speaking to me. Mrs. Wing gave me a whole sack of fresh vegetables from their expedition to the grocery wholesale store, along with a couple of home-baked supersize macadamia cookies AND part of her harvest of winter purple daikons which grew all sturdy in the cold and snow. Here is one of them, showing only part of its lavish healthy foliage. They really are this beautiful.
And (like the Wings), they are beautiful not only on the outside, but at heart:
Each nibble is perfectly crisp and bursting with juice, and remarkably sweet. Then the hit strikes — wow, what a spicy kick! The foliage was great too in long-cooked potassium broth with vegetables and a bit of wakame, and then the simmered leaves had a good flavor for munching. Those slices will make beautiful kimchi with some grated Asian pear, garlic, ginger, anchovy sauce, and cayenne. It’s a much appreciated home-grown super thoughtful gift.
Well, that is a life lesson for me. When God sends the best helpers, it is my job to be easy to help. That starts with updating everyone on what might be needed in future, and how best to strategize so that no one is too burdened or is left out and wondering about the plan.
Wings never wait around to be thanked or praised. But thank you all the same, dear neighbors. Maybe I can find some way to show appreciation back for all that you do for us.
“Well, that is a life lesson for me. When God sends the best helpers, it is my job to be easy to help. That starts with updating everyone on what might be needed in future, and how best to strategize so that no one is too burdened or wondering about the plan.”
I can so relate to this; I have fear of imposing on people just like you described. You are so blessed to have such wonderful people in your life. I am so grateful for your writing as my spiritual path is about teaching wounded parts of mySelf that there are so many good, kind, loving people in the world who are able to help and not hurt. And, as Rich Hanson says, taking in the good and letting it soak into my mind and psyche.
Thank you again for sharing your journey, foibles and all (and your beautiful photographs); it makes me feel less alone on my journey of healing toward loving-kindness.
Namaste and blessings,
Oh Wendy… thank you SO much. It is a great blessing to have these good neighbors. The new goal of being “easy to help” dawned on me during this cataract surgery experience. Many people are just not accustomed to getting helped, or being cared for. Some have been too busy taking care of everybody else, and simply have not worked on the very different skills of being helped. Another girlfriend asked me to please write a story just about that, so I will. But this communication glitch on my part was the inspiration, and seemed a good way to open the topic. And oh yes, foibles will abound! I can promise that much. Thank you especially for the very kind words about the spiritual path. I would feel the same way if you had time to write a blog! Very warm blessings to you, Mary